I was going through my head thinking of things I had to do and this was pretty low on the list. Writing this, I mean. So without any real motivation I kinda felt it would be the best thing TO DO, since I don’t care.
I was sitting here wondering when the urge to hit up redtube would kick in when I thought: “Remember that awesome goal you set for yourself? To write reviews for any movie you watch? Even if you’ve already reviewed?”
Then I thought, yeah, that was a great idea. Until it got daunting. I go through about 2-4 movies a day. If there was a celluloid equivalent of a cat lady that’d be just about where I’m at.
With all this volume and Netflix turnover, I can hardly remember what I’ve seen from day to day, but I’m pretty sure I watched this one. And when I’m pretty sure, that means I did. And if I did, you should too.
You’re going to see an attractive leper at some point (attractive. yes, they have a sliding scale for these things), but he doesn’t bang her so you can fast forward if you want. It’s one of those kinda movies.
In all seriousness, I thought the “experience” of Che on the road didn’t really seem all that searing. For all I know, though, Che was easily impressed. Show him a couple poor people and he just wants to murder capitalists. If that’s how it went down then this movie is spot on. If, however, the poverty and exploitation was WORSE than what we see in this film, I think they would have done better to demonstrate that. This Che doesn’t say a whole lot, so his vacillation at the end seems more like the last decade of my life where I looked at my Classical History degree and said WTF?
Have you seen the Matrix?
Kidding. Um…hang on. I like…mini-reviewed this in a chat with my friend. Rather than think more about it..oh wait fuck, I just remembered I wrot a age about it yesterday.
Let me fire up Word.
K so I was drunk and wrote the following, but if you want to skip all that here’s my recommendation: see it if you want, it’s not so bad….
Keanu reeves is a little typical, but not overly so. The character calls for it. But that being the case they should have found someone else for the role whom we would not have said “is he gonna be another wooden omnipotent doer-of-all like we saw in the matrix. Not for nothing but that was a big role for him so it kinda sticks to the mental ribs.
Otherwise the idea was sound but I think it could have been more cerebral. Instead a cheesy melodrama cemetery scene, how about something more incrememntal and/or intricate.
No one oever died on alpha centauri? They don’t deal with death? Of course they do. He needs to repair himself, they can die. So therefore show something unique to humans. Hard? Too bad, youre the artist. DO IT.
They’ve been watching us this long, they’ve seen us get down and drink over death and then come back and do the same thing. All creatures sell out in the face of death. Put death at the feet of the human race and surely we wil cower. Duh. Give us something more fearsome. Annihilation? Meh…ok. Kinda. But we presented ourselves with annihilation in 1945 and decided the best course of action would be MAD. Theres a great idea. Neutrality by mutually assured destruction. Fucking brilliant. My dad votes republican.
Show something else. Like Bach. That was a nice touch. Think Troy. “Your beauty is that you can die.” Therefore we have nothing of value except what we produce. Our lives are nothing without that which we create, even if its only another life. That’s our gift. Our talent. Maybe not unique in the universe, but as we’ve not met any martians, there it is. Talk about that. Not death. Death happens everywhere. Where there is life there is death. To define us by that is to negate our individuality.
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So there it was. That’s what happens when I review a movie on three gins.
I watched this on Blu-ray yesterday with my brother. Fantastic. My dad’s sound system is killer.
There are some films that I can really let go… and like them for what they are. Actually I can’t. I’m typically pretty stuck up about this, but with Bond, well, after 40 years these films have the pedigree to more or less do what they want and be judged within their own bloodline.
So, whereas Fast and the Furious can lick my perianal region, I will gladly lick the same of Bond films with crazy chase scenes.
Keep your iPod down, there’s more dialogue in this one than Casino Royale!!! I’d tell you what happens but I mean come on… Bond film = Cheeky lines, gratutitous implied sex, death, awesome wardrobe. Add a beer and this could be MY life!!!!
Leave it to the Russians to make a stupid movie. The problem here wasn’t the acting or the cinematography, both were top notch. But the plot itself was slow and contrived.
Temudjin (Tadanobu Asano) rises to power in medieval Mongolia.
There. Done. That’s it. You’ve seen the movie.
Every time there is about to be an epic battle of defining moment, the screen goes black and the next segment starts up with the protagonist magically victorious/healed/problem-solved/what have you.
In one scene it is implied that a wolf gets him out of stocks. In another he is shot directly in the spine with an arrow and the screen fades to black and then we see him walking around laughing with his friend. WTF?
In an epic battle against his ‘brother’ who outnumbers him nearly 10 to 1, a storm covers the field and his enemies are all afraid of thunder so he wins. Wow. Fuck this movie.
But, honorable mention: skull crushing scene. I flinched. Cool.
Waste your time on IMDB.com.
